So the next time you’re on a Bluetooth headset and you’re standing in a fast-food queue chatting to a friend, please be aware that there are people around you who (1) may not realize you’re on a headset, and (2)… well I’ll get to that. I know that hands-free sets have been around for years, but a hefty percentage of onlookers still fancy that you’re talking to yourself for the first few seconds. Trust me, they do.
(2) Even if they do savvy that you’re hands-free chatting from the start, people around you may not have the same cognitive response your friend has when you use certain words. Like “horse”. I called my friend up and asked her how her horses were doing. Simple enough. Except they were all sick. “Oh no!” says I. “What can you do?”
*silence for a few seconds*
Me: “Can you change their programming? No. They’re not modifiable. Okay, well are they transferable? You know, it would be so much simpler if you could get into their coding and futz with the timers. Then you could take a vacation and come back and not have them all be dead.”
I notice the man behind me is outright STARING at me, because now I’m not only talking to myself, I’m contemplating how I can achieve world domination using the robo-horses of deth.
Code Monkey conversations are best kept to text, or at least only in the vicinity of other geeks. It’s a good thing we weren’t talking about detachable penises.