“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”
When I was little, my mother told me that love is strongest of all, but hate is “a whole lot louder.”
That’s why, contrary to wisdom and justice both, hate so often wins.
When you know someone hates you without reason, the natural impulse is just to hate ’em right back. It’s hard not to answer a shout with a shout, a curse with a curse, wrong for wrong.
Kindness is not an abstract. Anyone can be kind to friends and family. Being loving towards those that we love is not difficult, and it isn’t a sacrifice. Being pleasant and making efforts on behalf of others is also not a huge chore. But being kind towards people whom we know don’t actively love us (which is a nice way of saying they hate our guts), well… that’s a hard row to hoe. Why do we even have to do that? What do we owe to the hateful homophobes in the world?
Nothing. We don’t owe them a single damn thing, not even kindness. But we don’t owe them hate, either, and they want us to believe that we do.
When you return hate, in some ways you’re giving that hateful person exactly what they want from you. You’re affirming their desire to be your desire, too. You’re interacting with that desire and allowing them to feed off it, from your source.
Because hate is often a long-lasting thing, many psychologists today don’t believe hatred to be a temporary state of emotion in human beings, but often a disposition toward hating, period.
In other words, haters gonna hate. There isn’t much you can do about that. The only action you’re left with that’s entirely your own is to take charge of the fight. Refuse to feed the negative desires of others, because every ounce of energy you put into hating them back is one less ounce you could be putting toward ending homophobia.
Don’t let them distract you and waste your time, because you, your friends, your family, and everyone reading this who believes that gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer folk are entitled to the same rights, privileges, and protections under the law as everyone else, have much, much better things to do with your lives.
Here are some of those better things.
The Trevor Project
It Gets Better
The Matthew Shepard Foundation
The Point Foundation
International Day Against Homophobia