Don’t Let Them Waste Your Time


“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”

-Rene Descartes




When I was little, my mother told me that love is strongest of all, but hate is “a whole lot louder.”

That’s why, contrary to wisdom and justice both, hate so often wins.

When you know someone hates you without reason, the natural impulse is just to hate ’em right back. It’s hard not to answer a shout with a shout, a curse with a curse, wrong for wrong.

Kindness is not an abstract. Anyone can be kind to friends and family. Being loving towards those that we love is not difficult, and it isn’t a sacrifice. Being pleasant and making efforts on behalf of others is also not a huge chore. But being kind towards people whom we know don’t actively love us (which is a nice way of saying they hate our guts), well… that’s a hard row to hoe. Why do we even have to do that? What do we owe to the hateful homophobes in the world?

Nothing. We don’t owe them a single damn thing, not even kindness. But we don’t owe them hate, either, and they want us to believe that we do.

When you return hate, in some ways you’re giving that hateful person exactly what they want from you. You’re affirming their desire to be your desire, too. You’re interacting with that desire and allowing them to feed off it, from your source.

Because hate is often a long-lasting thing, many psychologists today don’t believe hatred to be a temporary state of emotion in human beings, but often a disposition toward hating, period.

In other words, haters gonna hate. There isn’t much you can do about that. The only action you’re left with that’s entirely your own is to take charge of the fight. Refuse to feed the negative desires of others, because every ounce of energy you put into hating them back is one less ounce you could be putting toward ending homophobia.

Don’t let them distract you and waste your time, because you, your friends, your family, and everyone reading this who believes that gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer folk are entitled to the same rights, privileges, and protections under the law as everyone else, have much, much better things to do with your lives.

Here are some of those better things.

The Trevor Project

It Gets Better


Lambda Legal

The Matthew Shepard Foundation

The Point Foundation

International Day Against Homophobia



About Kirby Crow

Kirby Crow worked as an entertainment editor and ghostwriter for several years before happily giving it up to bake brownies, read yaoi, play video games, and write her own novels. Whenever she isn't slaying Orcs or flying a battleship for the glory of the Amarr Empire, she can be found in the kitchen, her vegetable garden, or busy writing her next book. Kirby is a winner of the EPIC Award (Best Horror Novel) and the Rainbow Award (Best LGBT Novel). She is the author of the bestselling "Scarlet and the White Wolf" series of fantasy novels.
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6 Responses to Don’t Let Them Waste Your Time

  1. Toni says:

    Interesting perspective, excellent advice.

  2. Jase G. says:

    Very well said and quite thought provoking. Thanks for taking the time to do something like this blog event.

  3. Andrea says:

    Thanks for sharing and for taking part.

  4. Yvette says:

    Thanks for participating for this wonderful cause of awareness…I teach high schoolers and this is a topic that we discuss at length. I just want them to be aware and know that they have the power to change the world!

  5. L.M. Brown says:

    Very well said.

    And you are number 218 on the blog hop – out of 281 – that is a lot of hopping and I am pretty sure I am going to run out of time before I reach the end of the list.

    Thanks for sharing and joining in the hop

  6. Rosemary says:

    Your mama is a smart lady.

    Thanks for this.